Children acquire many skills as they grow. Some skills, such as controlling urine and stool, depend mainly on the level of maturity of the child's nerves and brain. Others, such as behaving appropriately at home and in school, are the result of a complicated interaction between the child's physical, intellectual (cognitive), and emotional development; health; temperament; and relationships with parents, caregivers, and teachers (see also Childhood Development). Other behaviors, such as thumb sucking, develop when children look for ways to help themselves cope with stress. Still other behaviors develop in response to parenting style.
Behavioral problems can become so troublesome that they threaten normal relationships between the child and others or interfere with emotional, social, and intellectual development. Some behavioral problems include the following:
Many of these problems arise out of developmentally normal habits.
Some behavioral problems, such as bed-wetting, can be mild and resolve quickly and spontaneously as part of normal development. Other behavioral problems, such as those that arise in children with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), can require ongoing treatment.
Tabia Zinazohusiana na Mfadhaiko kwa Watoto
Each child handles stress differently. Certain behaviors that help children deal with stress include thumb sucking, nail biting, and, sometimes, head banging.
Kunyonya kidole gumba au matumizi ya pacifier
Thumb sucking (or sucking other fingers) or sucking a pacifier is a normal part of early childhood, and most children stop by the time they are 1 or 2 years old, but some continue into their school-age years. Occasional thumb sucking or pacifier use is normal at times of stress, but habitual sucking past the age of about 5 can alter the shape of the roof of the mouth, cause misalignment of teeth, and lead to teasing from other children. Occasionally, children who persistently suck their thumb or a pacifier may need to be evaluated by a behavioral health professional.
All children eventually stop thumb sucking or using a pacifier. Parents should intervene only if their child’s dentist advises them to or if they feel their child’s thumb sucking is socially problematic.
Parents need to gently encourage children to understand why they should stop. Once the child signals a willingness to stop, gentle verbal reminders are a good start. These can be followed by symbolic rewards put directly on the thumb, such as a colored bandage or a star drawn with a nontoxic colored marker. Additional measures, such as a plastic guard over the thumb or painting the thumbnail with a nontoxic bitter substance, can be used. However, none of these measures should be used against the child’s will.
Kung'ata kucha na kuokota kucha
Nail biting and nail picking are common behaviors among young children. These habits usually disappear as the child gets older but may be related to stress and anxiety.
Children who are motivated to stop can be taught to substitute other habits (for example, twirling a pencil).
A reward system in which the child earns more rewards for avoiding the behavior reinforces desirable behavior.
Kugonga kwa kichwa na kutikisa kwa sauti
Head banging and rhythmic rocking are common among healthy infants and toddlers. Although alarming to parents, the children do not seem to be in distress and actually seem to derive comfort from these behaviors.
Children usually outgrow body rocking, head rolling, and head banging between 18 months and 2 years of age, but repetitive actions sometimes still occur in older children and adolescents.
Children with autism spectrum disorder and certain other neurodevelopmental issues also may bang their head or make other repetitive movements. However, these children have additional symptoms that make their diagnosis apparent.
Although children almost never damage themselves by these behaviors, this possibility (and the noise) can be reduced by pulling the crib away from the wall, taking off the wheels or placing carpet protectors under them, and applying padding to the bars of the crib.
Matatizo ya Tabia na Mtindo wa Malezi
Praise and reward can reinforce appropriate behavior. Sometimes parents end up giving their children attention only for inappropriate behavior, which can backfire when that is the only attention the children receive. Because most children prefer attention for inappropriate behavior to no attention at all, parents should create special times each day for pleasant interactions with their children to avoid increases in inappropriate behavior.
Child–parent interaction problems are difficulties in the relationship between children and their parents, which may begin during the first few months of life. The relationship may be strained because of:
A difficult pregnancy or delivery or difficulty with breastfeeding
Postpartum depression affecting either parent
Relationship stress between parents
Inadequate social or emotional support of the parents by relatives or friends
Work, housing, or other financial stress on parents
Parenting style that does not foster a positive relationship between parent and child
The early days of parenting are stressful for most parents because of a baby’s unpredictable feeding and sleeping schedules. Most babies do not sleep through the night until 3 to 4 months of age.
Poor parent-child relationships may slow development of a child's mental and social skills and cause growth and weight faltering (failure to thrive).
A doctor or nurse can discuss the temperament of an individual baby and offer the parents information on the development of babies and helpful tips for coping. The parents may then be able to develop more realistic expectations, accept their feelings of guilt and conflict as normal, and try to rebuild a healthy relationship. If the relationship is not repaired, the baby may continue to have problems later.
Unrealistic expectations contribute to the perception of behavioral problems. For example, parents who expect a 2-year-old child to pick up toys without help may mistakenly feel there is a behavioral problem. Parents may misinterpret other normal, age-related behaviors of a 2-year-old child, such as the refusal to follow an adult’s request or rule.
A self-perpetuating cycle or a circular behavioral pattern is a cycle in which a negative (angry) response from a parent or caregiver to a child's negative (inappropriate) behavior leads to further negative behavior by the child, which leads to continued negative responses from the parent or caregiver. The attention the child receives from the parent or caregiver often reinforces the child's inappropriate behavior.
In self-perpetuating cycles, a child responds to stress and emotional discomfort with stubbornness, back talk, aggression, and resistance instead of crying. The parents or caregivers respond by scolding, yelling, and spanking. Self-perpetuating cycles also may result when parents react to a fearful, clinging, or manipulative child with overprotection and overpermissiveness.
The self-perpetuating cycle may be broken if parents learn to ignore inappropriate behavior that does not negatively affect others, such as temper tantrums or refusals to eat. Redirecting the child's attention to interesting activities allows for the rewarding of desired behavior, which makes the child and parents or caregivers feel successful. For behavior that cannot be ignored, distraction or a time-out technique can be tried.
Discipline problems are inappropriate behaviors that develop when structure is ineffective. Discipline is more than just punishment. It is providing children with clear, structured, age-appropriate expectations that allow them to know what is expected. It is much easier and more satisfying to both parents and children to reward desirable behavior than to punish inappropriate behavior.
In older children and adolescents, behavioral issues may arise as children seek to become independent and test parental rules and try to avoid parental supervision. Parents should learn how to distinguish serious behavior problems in adolescents from occasional errors in judgment. (See also Psychosocial Development in Adolescents.)
Matibabu
Treatment of medical or psychological issues
Behavior-modifying strategies for parents
The goal of treatment is to change undesirable behavior by getting children to want to change their behavior. This goal often needs consistent changes in actions by the parents, which in turn results in improved behaviors by the children.
Behavioral problems need to be addressed early because behaviors are harder to change the longer they exist. Sometimes, parents need only to be reassured that the particular behavior is normal or to hear a few simple suggestions. One simple suggestion is for parents to spend at least 15 to 20 minutes a day in a pleasurable activity with the child or to call attention to desirable behaviors (“catching the child being good”). Parents are also encouraged to regularly spend time away from the child to help the child learn to be secure and also independent.
Additional strategies parents can use to modify a child's behavior include the following:
Identifying triggers for the child's inappropriate behavior and factors (such as additional attention) that may unintentionally reinforce it
Clearly defining for the child which behaviors are desired and which are not desired
Establishing consistent rules and limits
Tracking how well the rules and limits are followed
Providing appropriate rewards for success and consequences for inappropriate behavior
Focusing on the behavior itself and not equating it with the child (for example, saying "that was not acceptable behavior" instead of "you're a bad kid")
Minimizing anger when enforcing rules
Increasing positive interactions with the child
Child health experts recommend healthy forms of discipline, such as positive reinforcement of appropriate behaviors, limit setting, redirecting, and setting future expectations. They recommend that parents do not spank, hit, slap, threaten, insult, humiliate, or shame their child.
If a behavior problem does not change in 3 to 4 months, doctors may recommend a behavioral health evaluation.
Mbinu ya kupumzika
This disciplinary technique is best used when children are aware that their actions are inappropriate and when they see withholding of attention as a punishment. Typically, children are not able to understand that withholding attention is a punishment linked to undesirable behavior until they are 2 years old.
A time-out is having the child spend a few minutes alone in a place with few sources of stimulation or distraction (a corner or room [other than the child’s bedroom] that is not dark or scary and has no television, digital devices, or toys). Care should be taken when this technique is used with an individual child who is in a group setting such as day care center or school because it can result in harmful humiliation.
The technique can be applied when a child misbehaves in a way that is known to result in a time-out. Usually, the child should receive verbal statements and reminders before the time-out technique is used:
The inappropriate behavior is briefly explained to the child, who is told to sit in the time-out place or is led there if necessary.
The child should sit in the place for 1 minute for each year of age (a maximum of 5 minutes). The child should stay in the time-out place voluntarily, and no physical methods should be used to keep the child in place (that is, children should not be physically restrained).
A child who gets up from the place before the allotted time is returned to the place, and the time-out is restarted. Talking and eye contact are avoided.
When it is time for the child to get up, the caregiver asks the reason for the time-out without anger and nagging. A child who does not recall the correct reason is briefly reminded. The child does not need to express remorse for the inappropriate behavior as long as it is clear that the child understands the reason for the time-out.
As soon as possible after the time-out, the caregiver should make an effort to identify appropriate behavior and praise the child for it. Appropriate behavior may be easier to achieve if the child is redirected to a new activity far from the scene of the inappropriate behavior.
Sometimes, a child's inappropriate behavior escalates when the child is in a time-out. In such cases, the caregiver should reinforce the reason why the time-out had been given before explaining that they want to give the child attention for good behavior rather than bad behavior and redirecting the child to another more acceptable activity.
Taarifa Zaidi
The following English-language resource may be useful. Please note that The Manual is not responsible for the content of this resource.
American Academy of Pediatrics: What’s the Best Way to Discipline My Child?
